Leave this page if you can’t get dark humor.
To idea killers: if you’re one of them, do not contact me.
If you’re lazy, leave me alone.
I won’t bring you coffee, unless coffee is a pitch.
Don’t ask me if I’d be willing to stay after hours in our first interview. The answer is fucking obvious. Why would I say no?
I don’t like gossiping.
I don’t care about your dog.
I don’t care about your cat.
I don’t care about your red fish.
I don’t care about your diet.
I care about your mom. Moms need more caring.
Do I look like I have a charger for you?
I can have lunch with you only if you know Kundera (and if you stop complaining).
I hustle. It’s not attitude.
Don’t eat in my plate.
You can have my soul in art galleries and museums.
I can always be your 911 if you need me.
I don’t believe in commands. You should remember advertising is supposed to be fun; even when a client is giving you multiple heart attacks each 30 seconds. It’s fun. We are not in the military. The military is not fun. So… I won’t shave my head. In case this wasn’t clear: I don’t believe in dictators. We all know how they ended up. I prefer teamwork.
The only difference between you and me is, probably, that I read Sartre in four languages.
Don’t get excited. I won’t translate your stupid text message for your girlfriend. I don’t work for Google Translate. Google Translate works for Google Translate.
I will not design your son’s birthday invitations, unless your son is my son.
Talking about design… Blue and green aren’t the same colors.
It’s not about making logos bigger; it’s about balance.
Who the fuck uses dafont.com anyway?
If you come to me 35464930 times to make stupid iterations on a copy or else, I will probably throw all my beautiful notebooks at you.
I know you’ll love me. Believe me, I love me, and I don’t love a lot of people. Sigh.
Okay, I guess we’re on the same page. “One day I will find the right words and they will be simple” — Kerouac.
P.S.: Humor. Remember. Humor.