In an effort to make both of us happy, I thought I should kindly let you know some things that can hardly change.

 

Leave this page if you can’t get dark humor.

To idea killers: if you’re one of them, do not contact me.

If you’re lazy, leave me alone.

I won’t bring you coffee, unless coffee is a pitch.

Don’t ask me if I’d be willing to stay after hours in our first interview. The answer is fucking obvious. Why would I say no?

I don’t like gossiping.

I don’t care about your dog.

I don’t care about your cat.

I don’t care about your red fish.

I don’t care about your diet.

I care about your mom. Moms need more caring.

Stop complaining.

Do I look like I have a charger for you?

I can have lunch with you only if you know Kundera (and if you stop complaining).

I hustle. It’s not attitude.

Don’t eat in my plate.

You can have my soul in art galleries and museums.

I can always be your 911 if you need me.

I don’t believe in commands. You should remember advertising is supposed to be fun; even when a client is giving you multiple heart attacks each 30 seconds. It’s fun. We are not in the military. The military is not fun. So… I won’t shave my head. In case this wasn’t clear: I don’t believe in dictators. We all know how they ended up. I prefer teamwork.

The only difference between you and me is, probably, that I read Sartre in four languages.

Don’t get excited. I won’t translate your stupid text message for your girlfriend. I don’t work for Google Translate. Google Translate works for Google Translate.

I will not design your son’s birthday invitations, unless your son is my son.

Talking about design… Blue and green aren’t the same colors.

It’s not about making logos bigger; it’s about balance.

Who the fuck uses dafont.com anyway?

If you come to me 35464930 times to make stupid iterations on a copy or else, I will probably throw all my beautiful notebooks at you.

I know you’ll love me. Believe me, I love me, and I don’t love a lot of people. Sigh.

Okay, I guess we’re on the same page. “One day I will find the right words and they will be simple” — Kerouac.

With love,

Dina

P.S.: Humor. Remember. Humor.