In an effort to make both of us happy, I thought I should kindly let you know some things that can hardly change:

Leave this page if you can’t get dark humor.

To idea killers: if you’re one of them, do not contact me.

I will not bring you coffee, unless coffee is a pitch.

I don’t like gossiping.

I don’t care about your dog.

I don’t care about your cat.

I don’t care about your red fish.

I don’t care about your diet.

I care about your mom. Moms need more caring.

I don’t want to be your neighbor.

If you’re lazy, leave me alone.

Don’t spam me. It’s no fun.

I can have lunch with you only if you know Kundera.

Don’t ask me if I’d be willing to stay after hours in our first interview. The answer is fucking obvious. Why would I say no?

Stop complaining.

I hustle. It’s not attitude.

Do I look like I have a charger for you?

Don’t eat in my plate.

You can have my soul in art galleries and museums.

I can always be your 911 if you need me.

I will always think Yanis (my former creative director) is the best creative director.

I don’t like orders. I like teamwork. The only difference between you and me is, probably, that I read Sartre in two languages.

Don’t get excited. I won’t translate your stupid text message for your girlfriend. I don’t work for Google Translate. Google Translate works for Google Translate.

I will not design your son’s birthday invitations.

Don’t call me Dayna, Dinah or Deena. It’s Dina.

Blue and green aren’t the same colors.

It’s not about making logos bigger, it’s about balance.

If you come to me 35464930 times to make stupid iterations on a copy or else, I will probably throw all my beautiful notebooks at you.

I know you’ll love me. Believe me, I love me, and I don’t love a lot of people. Sighs.

Okay, I guess we’re on the same page. “One day I will find the right words and they will be simple” — Kerouac.

With love,